All right.

This?

Is not funny.



I mean, it's just sick. That and is it supposed to be a joke? Har har, Eden, you might need one of these after giving your own a healthy bath in it's three boyfriends for the past year? I'll have you know me liver is fine and dandy. There is no cerosis cirrhosis. I know. I checked. So whoever you are, get a sodding clue about it!

I stopped drinking, okay?

I can't bring meself to actually cook anything. I actually had liver - cow liver - sitting in the fridge for supper but now? Now I'm going to go out and pay for me dinner.

Whoever you are that sent this! You owe me money, you scum-sucking son of a bitch!

Hope everyone else had a happy Christmas.

[ooc: yes I know it's a cow liver but I couldn't find an adequate pic of a human one]

What sick fuck invented holiday shopping? A crowd of screaming wankers all fighting for the last shite mitten or whatever, and no one can breathe, and the shops and the square stink like Belfast. That's a real pungent odor, people.

I watched a Christmas Story. Now I'm supposed to watch It's a Wonderful Life. All I'm saying is that the plot device better not be a sled. I watched that crap last year.

Private to Claire Bennet | Unhackable

...you want to lay this shite out or are we just going to grit out teeth and smile at each other?

/private

[The camera alights on Eden and the kitchen, which looks a little terrorized. Around her are piles of bread and pastry. She's elbow deep in another batch of dough]

This fucking City...

[She slams the dough around, and after a minute she catches the camera]

...oh, for fuck's sake.

Anyone want any? Hell.

[Irish Gaelic]

Conchobar, you had better be here somewhere. If you ran off with that pathetic girl you were making eyes at I'll bind your blood to the mounds. She doesn't have any blood in her. You don't see Lorcan making such idiot choices. I suppose, though, it's not as if Lorcan makes any choices now.

There are more humans here...what is this place, anyway? Does anyone speak....nevermind. It makes my skin crawl. Isn't there anywhere clean? Lorcan, where are you? I can't feel you at all. I don't like this.

[/Gaelic]

[In slow English in a different accent than her usual]

Where is this? I'm not meant to be here. My brothers...are missing. And I need to find them and get back to Cruachan as soon as I can. I don't want - I cannot be here.

This place feels like tainted blood.



[ooc: sob, a certain someone needed to push a button. Road not taken for Eden, if she had accepted the Sidhe instead of rejected it, she never left for Belfast, and sort of rules her family now with an iron fist. Also she has celtic knots scarring her face but I am too lazy for photoshop]

It was two days last year, too.

I suppose I'm hoping too much that me old friends are out there, aren't I?


[ooc; anything goes!]

[Sniffling, and then]

's not fair.

's not fuckin' fair.

[There's a hiccup, and then the sound of a glass getting set down]

Fuck it all.

Fuck.

[A hiss]

I wan' Matt. I lost him once. I lost everyone. John and Eoin and Ric and Jamie and 'lina and McClane and Zach and now I've fuckin' lost Matt again and....

[Someone speaking, Eden, that better not be blood on my bar.]

I can' even get it workin' proper.

I can' make anythin' work proper anymore.

[There's another hiccup, and a sob, and then quiet]

I have to wonder what kind of animal I'd turn into. A badger? Me soul's a badger, if the City's to be believed. It's almost a bit sad I'm not cursed, but I suppose that spares the lot of you, even though all I'm doing is sitting about the house. Matt's off busy with setting up his new computer and there's nothing really left to cook because I made supper this morning.

But I'm not completely at waste.

I'm learning to make Thai Papaya Salads. Probably bad form. Teaches certain people that if they whine and bitch enough they get what they want from me.

Maybe I'm losing me edge.

Shite is too good.

How can it be this good?

Fuck, I feel like I'm jinxing meself.

Oh, no, wait. Some arseholes are still full of fucking shite. No apologies necessary. Just shut the fuck up and get the bitching fuck out. I'm sick of it.

I'm not crazy.

( Not cut icly )

Who wants some?

Also fuck it all to bloody hell.

I've only had sex with one man. It wasn't John or Eoin, even though I should have slept with him, the running fool, and it bloody hell wasn't Rictor either. It was Caspian, all right? He wore me, too. And we used a rubber johnny but it broke and now I'm pretty sure that City magic is----

[There's a horrified pause]

Crap.

This place is a headache.

Anyone want to bet on the next curse? Maybe on the next fucking power to get out of control? Fuck if it'll be mine.

11 days, so far.

And what the fuck is up with the bleeding mountain?

I don't know what to say.

If I'm supposed to start with a fucking apology, I can't. I can't apologize.

I'm not ready to go home. I'm not ready to...shite.

Just fuck it all, okay? I fucked up.

Caspian I have to- Zach is

I can't stop dreaming.

Miss Eden Mac Cionaoith is unavailable.

And it's unlikely she will become available.

Please don't leave a message.

She won't receive it.

Whatever that bangin' is.

Shut.

The.

Fuck.

Up.

Some of us want to bleedin' sleep.

....fuck. Is that a flyin' knife?

Okay.

Yesterday?

So much funnier when you're on the shooting end of the gun.

It's still bloody hot out, though. Anyone got any solutions to that? Shite. I'm not cooking tonight.

No.

[And there's the sound of a single shot]

If you're sick, for the love of Mebd, take the time to go and find a doctor. I don't care where you go, but I know people are getting ill and it's not like the doctors in this place are actually trained to do something about it.

Get ill. Get help. It's not a difficult formula.

Anyone in the market for computer parts? I have a lot that I should probably get rid of. And some clothes, they're not what anyone would call fashionable or anything but they'll fit someone about 174cm tall and not terribly fat. Mens clothes. Also a really nice leather jacket. And a pair of crutches.

And some old toys. Just a lot of gunk.

Make offers. Or something.

Private to Foster || unhackable

Oy, do I want to know what happened?



[ooc: Yes, she's selling all of Matt's stuff. She may not actually want to sell it so expect some resistance]

Tony fucking Foster.

I swear to bloody Medb if I have to bleed to find you I fucking will. And then I'm going to scar your bloody face. Twice the wanking fool, you've been.

I was in a perfectly ace mood and now you've gone and ruined it, yeah?

Shite. Idiots all about me.

And then you'd better apologize to the people I feed because I'm not cooking tonight, either.

Fucking. Hell.

All right it may sound a bit odd coming from me of all people, but just because something hands you one of these doesn't make you good on using it. Yes, I know, cursed and everything, but sense seems to be lacking. You really want to use a gun that the City just left lying about?

Shite I hope it's just a gun, then. That's all I'm saying.

Whatever.

Private to Rachel || Visible to Julio Rictor and Logan || unhackable

So. I take it you heard? You're supposed to poke about in me head. Confirm me intentions and all that lovely shite.

Fifth of May. I don't remember what I did last year, today and I really don't give a shite, but House said it's some kind of important holiday.

So I made tacos. Sorry, Rictor, I kind of had to break into your flat because fuck if I knew what a tortilla was actually supposed to look like. There's a plate of them on your table, though. And a beer. And your lock isn't actually broken.

Anyway.

Does anyone know what this holiday is supposed to mean?

Private to Caspian || action

I got you a hat because I heard it's traditional. I know you like green. Also a bottle of Jose Cuervo.

[ooc: Why yes, Narnians, she is on your porch with a tupperware full of tacos. Strike filtered away from Caspian but visible to everyone else!]